Moshe: The Man In The Coppermind. Scroll 2: Through A Mind, Darkly

By Sharon Hooper

Recommended readings before reading Scroll 2: Scroll 1 and Scroll 4



Caption: Shallan on the bookends of Words of Radiance. Credit: Michael Whelan

A Mindful Inspiration

Authors derive inspiration from a myriad of sources. For New York Times-bestselling author Brandon Sanderson’s magnum opus The Stormlight Archive, a planned 10-installment epic fantasy series, part of the inspiration came from Moshe Feder, his long-time editor. All three published books in the series: The Way of Kings, Words of Radiance and Oathbringer, each feature a main POV character who must grapple with their own inner demons as much, if not more so, than against their external foes.

“Brandon was inspired first by a relative and then by me to build that in,” said Feder, who suffers from bipolar disorder, as did his mother Anne Rubin Feder.



Caption: Anne Rubin Feder with her son Moshe Feder. Photo credit: Moshe Feder.

“My mom was a high-functioning bipolar with more mild mania and rare but severe depressions. We accepted that as ‘just the way she is,’ and didn't understand it in terms of disease. Then, in late middle age, it got worse and finally she got diagnosed and medicated.”

“Bipolar disorder typically shows up in one's 20s. However it was only then, in my late 30s that a lightbulb went on and I realized that obviously, I had it too. Previously I’d just been BLAMING MYSELF* for shameful weakness. It had been holding me back in my life and career and I hadn’t even realized it.” (Interviewer’s note: Bipolar disorder can be caused by genetic factors)



Mental health awareness not being what they are today, Feder had perceived his erratic mood swings as something to be ashamed of. “Of course I know better now, but how could I have known then? It was liberating to realize it was a disease and not a character flaw. I probably first had symptoms toward the end of college but didn’t understand what it was.”

Feder paused to consider: “Looking back, it might even have begun in high school. I already had a pattern of inaction followed by bursts of energy to solve the problem I’d made for myself. But I thought it was just typical teenage procrastination followed by panic. But later it got worse, with the down times meaning not wanting to get out of bed at all and sleeping 12 hours a day and the up periods being dangerously impulsive, shopping and spending irresponsibly, being irritable and getting into arguments or even fights, and so on.”

Feder then ruefully recounted a shopping experience from over 20 years ago: “I’ve also trained myself to notice when I'm shopping impulsively and direct it to actually useful stuff. It’s really stupidly annoying when you come down a bit and realize you bought something useless. Like the time I bought Windows software even though I owned a Mac. How did I rationalize that? Mania doesn't care.”

Feder chose not to return the software for a refund despite having paid around $100 for it. “I still have it. It’s now a valuable reminder to stay in control. Still shrink wrapped. I was CRAZY*. Yes, it was painful when I realized it had made no sense.”

Feder knew it could have been a lot worse. "Fortunately for me, as someone with Bipolar II, I never experienced full blown mania, which is just as scary and dangerous as extreme psychosis, which causes delusions and hallucinations."

"Rather, the 'up' part of my cycles was characterized by hypomania which, if you're careful and sufficiently self-conscious, can be productively harnessed. Unfortunately, 'up' periods are becoming less frequent as I age."

"When I'm hypomanic, I just generally feel more positive and energetic, not at all euphoric, which for me would be a danger sign, but just pain free and content, the way I imagine 'normal' people feel most of the time. But in addition, one of the delights is the sudden realization that the oppressive sense of impossibility is gone. What prodigies I might accomplish if that were always true! I'm grateful to have mostly had hypomania, which can be fun. Well, fun while it lasts, until it’s over and you crash.”

“And now you know why it’s taken me so long to get my roof fixed, and also why I'm not too hard on myself about it, much though I regret the attendant damage,” said Feder, referring to his still-leaking roof. Plans have been made to have it fully fixed by the end of September.

“It’s like having cats; you just accept that sometimes stuff is going to get knocked over.” Feder currently lives with Flushing, New York with his two cats, Destry and Nemo.

When asked, Feder asserted that these memories were not painful for him to recall. As for his reasons for sharing, he had this to say: “It’s a duty to help fellow sufferers and to work on reducing stigma. When I was guest of honor at Corflu 19, it was a major part of my speech.”





Caption: Feder wearing a guest of honor hat that was a visor in the shape of a red foam crab with dangling legs and claws at Corflu 19 on February 17, 2002, at the Radisson Hotel in Annapolis, Maryland. Photo credit: Moshe Feder.

(Interviewer’s note: Corflu is fanzine fan convention and the word Corflu is short for “mimeograph stencil correction fluid”, which is used in a mimeograph to produce fanzines back before they could be produced digitally. The Guest of Honors at Corflu conventions are chosen randomly.)



WARNING: MAJOR PLOT SPOILERS AHEAD!

Words of Reassurance

In The Stormlight Archive, Kaladin, the main POV character in The Way of Kings, suffers from seasonal affective disorder; Shallan, the main POV character in Words of Radiance suffers from both PTSD and a split personality disorder; Dalinar, the main POV character in Oathbringer is an alcoholic, while Teft, a secondary character, is a drug addict who is often filled with self-loathing for himself.



Caption: Kaladin featured on the cover of Words of Radiance. Credit: Michael Whelan

Being able to read about such characters proved to be quite the cathartic experience for a Sanderfan who suffers from depression.

“I struggle with depression, and reading the characters in Stormlight Archive just makes me believe again,” said Hannah, a 29-year-old Santa Clara resident who went to Worldcon 76 just to see Sanderson.

While she identified with all three major POV characters, Kaladin was who she identified with the most. “Kaladin’s chapters are the ones I identify with the most when it comes to descriptions and the way he constantly berates and second guesses himself. At the end of Oathbringer when Syl says the bit about it being time for someone to save HIM*, I cried for like an hour the first time I read that.”

“It's hard to explain, but I have always been the person that is there to save all of my friends and those around me. I am terrible at asking for help when it is needed, just like Kaladin, and when I am feeling lost I am lucky to have people around me that will notice and come to my rescue."

In particular, Hannah deeply appreciated just how nuanced Sanderson's depiction of mental illness was: “I love the fact that Brandon changes the way he writes his characters' perceptions and thoughts and motivations based on their current feelings or mental state. When Kaladin is feeling okay for once, he makes this observation:

‘The truth was he was feeling pretty good these days. yes there was a war, and yes the city was seriously stressed but ever since he'd found his parents alive and well he'd been feeling better.

That wasn't so uncommon a feeling for him. He felt good lots of days. Trouble was, on the bad days, that was hard to remember. At those times, for some reason, he felt like he had always been in darkness and always would be.

Why was it so hard to remember? Did he have to keep slipping back down? Why couldn't he stay up here in the sunlight where everyone else lived?’" (Oathbringer, page 690)

At the signing, Hannah asked Sanderson to personalize her copy of Oathbringer with the second Ideal Teft spoke: “I will protect those I hate...even if the one I hate most is myself.”



Caption: Brandon Sanderson’s personalization of Hannah’s copy of Oathbringer. Photo credit: Hannah.

After asking Sanderson a few questions, a grateful Hannah capped her brief interaction with her favorite author by thanking him “for writing the characters that you write.”

“Pleasure,” replied a smiling Sanderson.



Caption: Jasnah on the front cover of Oathbringer. Credit: Michael Whelan

Heeding the Warning Signs

Feder warns that, especially for people in their 20s, sudden unexpected changes in one’s energy level, enthusiasm and sleep should be taken seriously, as they may be symptomatic of mental health issues.

“Just see a doctor and if he or she suggests it, a shrink. People can be depressed without being manic, but they rarely are manic without eventually being depressed. If you haven’t experienced that yet, that's no guarantee you eventually won't. Try to imagine being as low as you currently are high. ‘Miserable’ just doesn’t begin to convey it. If it is bipolar disorder, lithium would immediately correct the problem. It requires a prescription and regular blood tests. It’s cheap, because it’s a natural mineral salt, lithium carbonate, but too much is toxic. So you have to be monitored regularly. But it SAVES LIVES* when used properly."

Feder emphatically warned people against self-medicating.

“Again, I'm an amateur, but the two likeliest explanations of such symptoms are mania or an endocrine problem like hyperthyroidism. Anyway, it’s IMPORTANT* to find out now. The sooner the better, whenever it is. If you are still at school, your school probably has a student health office. They could refer you to someone. But if it IS* bipolar, the lithium would fix that in days or a couple of weeks. But if you get that, the there's no question you MUST* seek help before it gets dangerously worse. Please don't put if off.”

For California residents, Feder offered this resource as an alternate option. “I don't know the regulations, but chances are you should qualify for help. Improving your mental state is a key step toward solving other problems. You are smart and will find a way.” (Interviewer's note: For residents living in the other 49 states, you can look up the link to the Health Department websites of your respective states here. For residents outside of the U.S.A., you can use this Google search query to find the department of public health services closest to you.)

Such is the way of such kings of fantasy fiction, to pave the way for greater awareness, understanding and acceptance of mental illness.

For readers' comments to the article, please check out Scroll 7.

*Interviewer’s note: All capitalizations are an emphasis used by the interviewees themselves and not an emphasis made by the interviewer.

Feder's recommended further reading: This Woman’s Viral Thread Notes A Never-Discussed Symptom Of Depression And Absolutely Everyone Needs To Read This

Interviewer's recommended further reading: Ideal Heroes: Mental Illness in Brandon Sanderson’s Stormlight Archive

The interviewer would like to express her special thanks to Valerie Estelle Frankel, the author of many books on pop culture, who kindly agreed to give this article a last-minute proofread before it was posted here. All the English/structural/formatting mistakes still present in the article belong solely to the interviewer and the interviewer alone.

Sharon Hooper has been reading fairy tales and fantasy since the age of 4 and has written two short fairytale retellings: The Real Sleeping Beauty and The Real Princess and the Pea: A Tale of Sense and Sensitivity.

If you have any questions or comments regarding the contents of this scroll, please feel free to send a message to her at https://www.facebook.com/shaz.ron.12.