Editor SH's note: All the comments have been edited for continuity and to correct any spelling, grammar and punctuation errors. Any remaining mistakes are the editor's own.
"It sounds like something my friends in various groups on Insight Timer will appreciate." - anonymous pre-reader
"Well, I do suffer from mental health issues myself, although I do have something more like OCD.
Stories like the ones Moshe are contributing to are an important way to shed light on these sorts of things, and also to make the people suffering feel that they are not alone.
It's always important to be kind and understanding toward people who suffer from different mental issues. I think it is hard to understand what it is like if you don’t have any. So be kind and respectful.
And to those who suffer from these things: keep on fighting. Every time you can do something that normal people can, you beat the disease." -Sharder Toaster Retribution
“Wow, I love this. I’ve been reading a lot about bipolar disorder because my boyfriend has a mild form called cyclothymia, and I wanted to understand it better. It’s so complicated.
We’d get into fights because I couldn’t tell over text what kind of mood he was in. I was done (with dating) after my daughter’s father, but he brought me out of hiding.
We still love each other very much, but he feels like his condition causes him to constantly hurt me, so he thinks he’s protecting me by staying away. It’s almost worse than if he was an asshole, because he’s hurting as much if not more than me.
It’s crazy, the mania and then coming down from it and dealing with the aftermath. He feels guilty like all the time.
He just started speaking to me again, after a two month low where he completely isolated himself from everyone, so I’ve been distracted. He’s on medication but probably needs more help. He’s had a lot of trauma in his life.
It’s awful and not something I told a lot of people, because there’s such a lot of stigma. I am happy that Moshe’s raising awareness. I think it’s great. People really misunderstand and treat it like a character flaw. I love the article and I hope lots of people read it.” - anonymous reader
"I propose the correct treatment here doesn't lie with Western medicine.
As someone who, from time to time, struggles from something akin to mania, I find the holistic and comprehensive healing methodology of the body, mind, spirit and beyond via Eastern wisdom, such as the right diet, meditation techniques and the science of yoga (which includes meditation) to be much more effective and in line with reality, rather than a chemical imbalance as proposed by Western doctors.
Though of course not denying the plausibility of real serious mental illnesses that might benefit greatly from Western medicine.
Is the schizophrenic really ill, or just perceiving reality differently, is yet another question.
Johann Hari's book on depression, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions, Is one of much enlightenment.
He proposes one's social and environmental deficits as the main reason for depression." - Tera, music composer for film and visual media
"Interesting that he saved the software to remind himself." - anonymous reader
"It’s super well written. I like it and the pictures are perfect." - Navya Malla
“Thank you. My situation has been very similar and I have experienced the shame surrounding this issue, but hopefully people are becoming more aware and accepting.
This book series looks very intriguing. I'm going to pick up a copy of The Way of Kings, although I am a very slow reader (more due to finding time then to actual mental acuity).” - Anonymous
"Society didn't used to care at all about mental health problems.
Now any deviation from the norm makes people say that person needs to be separated from society, is a danger to himself and others etc.
Not sure how article de-stigmatizes. Moshe is a danger to himself and others. He can identify other ticking time bombs. But why would the stigma be less?
Is article suppose to help people recognize these issues in themselves, and may help encourage them to seek help?
Because I thought of the word "destigmatize" as meaning "teach people who are not affected that people who are affected by this are totally OK, normal, fine people."
But that wasn't goal of article. I didn't read anything that made me think the editor was normal or OK; different issue; not more afraid, but not less afraid.
It will make people more aware that there are many people with such mental health issues living amongst us.
What would you think of this paragraph: "Bipolar people like to buy weird stuff. Not all of them are murderers." Some of them have good jobs.
I am not suggesting that be done. The problem is, that is the message I read.
The message that buying weird stuff is a sign of craziness, that people who are currently holding down good jobs may be unstable, and you never know which, rather than destigmatizing, only widens the net." - Anonymous
“Brandon started The Lightweaver Foundation for personal reasons and his vision for the foundation does not involve a lot of promotion.Out of respect for him we have not advertised or done any fundraising.”
“At some point Brandon will ask for fans to partner with him to donate for a certain cause but he wants to make sure the money is actually funneled to the charity or project intended by the donation."
"Actually, we work hand in hand with Lightweaver and support them in all their projects, many of which are not public knowledge."
Charity efforts by the Lightweaver Foundation:
In-kind donations made to the Ronald McDonald House Charities in the Intermountain Area
Sponsored the Provo Girls Summit, an event where girls could meet women from a variety of professions, where they could ask questions, make connections, and see successful models of women in many different lines of work.
Library at Salt Lake Community Shelter for single women. Photo credit: The Road Home
Renovated a former children’s playroom at the Salt Lake Community Resource Center into a women's library for single women who are currently experiencing homelessness in the area.
Donated between $50,000 to $249,999 to the Utah Valley University Foundation since 2016.
MF refers to Moshe Feder, Brandon Sanderson's editor. SH refers to Sharon Hooper, interviewer. Besides minor edits to remove redundancies, transcript is pretty much unchanged.
The Surname Feder
According to Ancestry.com, Feder is:
German and Jewish (Ashkenazic): metonymic occupational name for a trader in feathers (see Feather) or in quill pens, from Middle High German veder(e), German Feder ‘feather’, ‘quill’, ‘pen’.
MF: I’ve seen that ancestry page. My interpretation is that we were scribes, but the feather/quill theory is also plausible.
Of course, if we WERE scribes a likelier name would be "Schreiber."
German: occupational name for a clerk, from an agent derivative of Middle High German schriben ‘to write’ (via Old High German from Latin scribere). Jewish (Ashkenazic): from German Schreiber, Yiddish shrayber ‘writer’, adopted as a translation of Hebrew Soffer ‘scribe’.
Moshe
Moses in a basket being put into the river by his mother Jochebed in the left panel and is seen been picked up by a Egyptian princess in the right panel. Photo credit: Kevsoraone
MF: Well, it’s the Native form of ‘Moses.’ Traditionally, it’s supposed to be based on the ancient Egyptian for “drawn forth from,” referring to his being pulled from his basket on the Nile by the princess.
SH: My best friend says your name sounds like Japanese mochi.
MF: I think there's also another Japanese word with a similar sound.
There's a restaurant in London with that name.
Partial screenshot of homepage of Moshi Moshi, London, UK.
SH: San Francisco has one too. It is a common restaurant name.
MF: Well, I was amused when I first saw it there.
SH: It’s Japanese. It can loosely be translated to mean “Hello? Hello?”
It is used on the phone to say hello and also used to get someone’s attention.
So what you do is when u get a call, you pick up the phone and go “Moshi Moshi”, and when you call someone, you start the conversation by saying “Moshi Moshi?”.
Say you are in a store and you want to know the price of something. But you don’t see the proprietor of the store around, so you go “Moshi Moshi?” to get their attention.
Similarly , if you go to a friend's house and they are not there, you pop your head in and go “Moshi Moshi are you there?”
On being Moash's namesake
WARNING: MAJOR PLOT SPOILERS AND MODERATE PROFANITY AHEAD
MF: Brandon originally claimed the name was a coincidence, and anyway, I think he pronounces it in two syllables, Mo-ash.
I mean looking at it, you might think it was an alternative spelling of Mōsh, as my friends call me.
Anyway, more recently, he's admitted that he is inspired by or connected to me in some way.
Personally, I don't think I have much in common with Moash, besides his strong sense of justice, unless you think I'm “hawk faced.” My eyes are greenish, his are brown, etc.
SH: Are we talking about the same Moash here? The same Moash who betrayed Kaladin? A strong sense of justice? Maybe, but if so, it is a very misguided one.
MF: Well, Moash is simultaneously a traitor to Bridge Four in its mission of guarding Elhokar and loyal to his grandparents whose unjust deaths he's avenging.
I think the point is that what he does is externally motivated and reactive rather than arising from purely selfish and internal motives.
He's not trying to win something for himself.
Wow. I'd be pretty offended if the author I got published, after something like ten huge books, named one minor vengeful, traitorous character after me. Or else I would find it really amusing.
Brandon Sanderson:
Moash was actually named before Moshe became my editor, as Alethi has some Hebrew roots, making some of the names similar to Hebrew names. He considers it a fun homage that I left it, after he became my editor. (Even considering what Moash does in WoR.)
But Moash came from Moshe, for example.
MuslinBagger:
Is that a hint of things to come? Is Moash like Moses or something? He is, isn't he?
Brandon Sanderson:
Sorry. It doesn't mean anything other than "My editor is named Moshe, and I've always liked how the name sounds."
MF: The Moses idea is silly.
SH's note: So for all those fans speculating that Moash will be pulling a "Moses" by the end of the series, both WoB and Moash's namesake & Brandon's editor himself have poured very icy cold water over the very idea, with Moshe himself calling it "silly" and WoB indicating that Moash's name doesn't mean anything other than "My editor is named Moshe, and I've always liked how the name sounds." One never knows though; authors can and have been known to change their minds. (See J.K. Rowling re: Hagrid) Moshe could very well decide he hates being associated with a such a Judas-like character and successfully browbeat his writer into giving Moash a Moses-like redemptive arc sometime before the series end, or Brandon may very well have already planned a redemption arc for Moash somewhere down the line, although it would most likely not involve Moash doing something so Moses-like like parting say the Drying Sea or leading his people (The Parshendi?) to find a new homeland away from all those pesky human Knight Radiants and their silly Ideals.
SH would like to give a special shoutout to ChangOfHeart69 for asking if Moash is Moshe's namesake, without which the above entire section "On being Moash's namesake" would not have existed at all.
SH's note: This scroll continues immediately from where Scroll 4 left off. Other than a parallel conversation about how the Shattering is inspired by the Kabbalah (which may be explored in a future scroll), and also a quote that has been redacted by request, transcript below remains mostly unchanged except for minor edits made for reasons for continuity.
SH: How else did you think I was able to surprise Brandon with the curated set of gifts I got him?
Research had to be done. You I will admit right now was a late last minute research I had to scramble to assemble at the last minute because, initially I didn't want to pay to go to two days of con.
Until I decided to heck with it. Paying $80 and god knows how much in Lyft/Uber cab fare to get to sit in on a 2-hour Nora Jemisin workshop and learn from her, to get a book and maybe a game card signed by Martin, to get this legendary Moshe editor dude to sign my Brandon books, to listen to Sharon Shinn in a panel about urban fantasy, listen to Peter S. Beagle talk about killing characters, and a chance to attend my first and maybe even last Hugo Awards.
It was just too good to pass up and so I reluctantly coughed up another $80 and then spent the rest of the time "stalking" if you will, the people I want to meet and what I want to get out of Sunday.
I didn't have much time for Nora and basically just happened upon a profile photo of a cat on her Twitter page (thought it was her current King Ozzy but I learned later when I gave the keychain to her, turned up to be her late departed beloved Nuku Nuku, who lived under he was 20)
During her workshop, Nora mentioned that she made a comment on epic fantasy that the Reddit decided to take the wrong way. I was determined to make her feel better, and at her signing afterwards, I pulled up these two screenshots to show her.
And you thank God, made it too easy, and that was great, because I was being really pressed for time. Your Facebook profile reads: "He loves cats and chocolate." You conveniently put a photo of the Collingwood Magpies, your two cats Nemo and Destry on your very public Facebook profile page. You have this on your personal website:
“He also talks to cats, whistles, advocates the Oxford comma, and requires chocolate.
Moshe lives in Flushing, NY with his cats Destry and Nemo."
I didn't know if you would ever be willing to sign Brandon's books, but I knew I had to damn well try to convince you anyway. I sent you a tentative tweet, not even daring to hope for a response, then set about to try and bribe/guilt-trip/show my appreciation for you having discovered Brandon in the first place, to sign my books.
MF: Nicely done.
And well paragraphs!
SH: I didn’t have time to find out specifically what kind of chocolate you like (brand, white/dark/milk?/plain/with fruit/flavored?) so I just ordered a nice box of Ghirardelli chocolate (a very iconic San Francisco chocolate brand (which I personally like) from Target which I picked up the next day, went through all the brand new cat stuff I have been given by a friend over the years (which I never used because what non-cat-owned people never realize is that if you have already been enslaved by two cats/one cat already, you don’t need to be reminded of your cat-enslavement with more cat-themed items)
SH's note: Dear friend, If you are reading this right now, I do really appreciate the gifts but please see above for why I didn't use them and gave them away to someone else who will.
So yes, brand new cat post-it notes, grumpy cat, and teacup cat got added into "the bribe Moshe to sign Brandon books" pile. The chocolate Toblerones I had gotten from Costco went into the pile as well.
Had no color printer and the black and white photos that came out of my printer made Nemo and Dresty look like they had passed away or something.
Went down to the building receptionist and basically begged/browbeat him into letting me print two sheets of colored paper, the results of which you now have, well part of it anyway.
MF: You sure made a serious effort. All that stuff was neat to get, but just asking nicely would have sufficed. I really appreciate Brandon's fans.
SH: You are unequivocally wrong. I am not just a Brandon fan. I am and had always been your fan too. Ever since I read Way of Kings anyways.
The citron jar and Korean BBQ pork jerky thrown in at last minute because I didn't give Brandon enough of the stuff to share with friends like you; I didn't even realized I was trying to give you pork; had tunnel vision by then.
MF: I like Pork. Also ham and bacon.
SH: then of course when u said you would be honored to
SH: I was like damn of course I am going to give you all these stuff but wait! I don't have any hardcover books anymore! I sent it all back to Amazon in a rage when they falsely accused me of saying I got damaged books.
MF: I do hope you have a life besides texting me, though!
SH: I do! I do ok! sheesh
MF: Boyfriend?
SH: I take long walks on the beach (not really, too cold in SF) and dance attendance on my cat master Luke whenever he requires it.
MF: Girlfriend?
SH: None. too crazy to attract anyone alas and not good looking enough.
Crazy and good looking = you have a chance
MF: If I could finally manage it, you will.
SH: Crazy and not good looking = no chance in hell
MF: Don't be too sure. Someone might like the challenge of brightening that face.
SH: I am heterosexual
Brad Pitt
Orlando Bloom
Legolas
Benedict Cumberbatch
Yeah, when I read your Tweet, 5 hours after you replied, saying you would be honored to do so I was like I really need hardcover books for him and Brandon to sign now; paperback just won't do; ran around SF before all the bookstores closed trying to find hardcover copies; only came up with Oathbringer.
I genuinely was plain just-all-out geeking out more about getting your signature than I was to get Brandon's, because you are the editor who discovered him, you have a great career as a fantasy/sci-fi editor at Tor books and someone I secretly aspired to be one day. I also felt a kinship more to you than to Brandon because we both (I think) for whatever strange reason, enjoy editing stuff. Please don’t ever tell Brandon I wanted your autographs more than I wanted his, please?
I mean sure, I love to write stories too. I even have two short stories published via KDP on Amazon.com. They are there because my (now late) uncle would only read my short stories if he could read it on his Kindle. These two short stories I wrote when I took a creative writing class (which counted as one class towards journalism associate degree), one of which is a retelling of Sleeping Beauty having to deal with an economic recession in her kingdom/queendom caused by spinning wheel ban, and the other is a retelling of The Princess and the Pea by way of Gattaca.
But yeah much as I love creative writing, I know my strengths (I would love to be a better creative writer) but deep down I know I am a stronger editor, hence me coveting your autographs more than I did Brandon's, if that makes any sense to you.
SH's note: SH does not advocate the behavior that SH engaged in with regards to meeting authors/editors at Worldcon; as MF has stated:"just asking nicely would have sufficed."
Transcript of a conversation between Moshe Feder and Sharon Hooper on how Feder first "discovered" Brandon Sanderson and bought Sanderson's first published novel Elantris (as well as other topics)
Please note that slight edits have been made to the transcript below for continuity purposes, but otherwise it has mostly been left unchanged. MF refers to Moshe Feder, New York Times-bestselling author Brandon Sanderson's Tor editor. The second book in The Stormlight Archive series, Words of Radiance, debuted at No. 1 on The New York Times Hardcover Fiction Bestseller list in 2014, a first for both Feder and Sanderson. SH refers to the interviewer Sharon Hooper.
SH'S NOTE: ATTENTION BRANDON SANDERSON FANS. IF YOU WANT TO READ ONLY PARTS OF THE TRANSCRIPT THAT PERTAINS JUST TO ELANTRIS, THEY HAVE BEEN BOLDED FOR YOU. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP THE REST OF THE CREAM/CREM, WHICH HAVE BEEN KEPT IN FOR OTHER READERS.
SH: Hey, Moshe.
MF: Yes?
SH: There's something I have been wondering for quite a while now. Brandon Sanderson fans (and as uncomfortable as this is making me feel, seeing as just how intense his fandom can be, I will count myself amongst them, with regards to this anyway) have heard, several times by now, how you choosing to acquire Elantris, has changed the entire trajectory of his writing career and helped catapulted him to achieve the meteoric (hope you don't find that adjective superlative like you did when I called you legendary) success he has enjoyed today. The story has remained rather consistent as he first recounted it, with little or no embellishments despite it all happening nearly two decades ago between 2003 and 2005.
I haven't seen or heard the story from your POV. All we have gotten is his POV. I was wondering, what is your POV in all this?
Elantris famously sat on your desk on 18 months before you decided to read it and then when you wanted to contact him to offer to acquire it, his contact information had already changed, and you did have to invest quite a bit of effort tracking him down to acquire Elantris.
I am just wondering, I don't know, what made you decide to acquire Elantris (per-Moshe edit)? What did you see in it? Was it the untapped potential? The undeniable hope that permeates every book he has written and published since Elantris? What was it about Elantris (pre-edit) that made you decide, "I want to acquire this book."
I mean sure, we can find you almost always mentioned somewhere in every major write-up of Brandon, but I don't think (I may be wrong), but I really don't think anyone has ever just sat down with you and I don't know, interviewed you or asked you, in any sort of depth, what was it really that you saw in pre-edit Elantris that made you decide, yes I want to acquire it for publication?
LOL, I may be completely imagining this, but I can practically almost see/hear/feel your mind thinking as you typed and sent me that one word: "Yes?", would be something likely along the lines of: "Oh dear Lord, what does this Sharon gal wants to ask me/of me now?"
I am just really curious about it, that’s all. I have always been a remarkably curious creature, perhaps too curious for my own good. I fear I may very well die like the proverbial curious cat one day, but that is a completely different topic, to be talked about another day, if ever (never =P). You might even be thinking; this crazy gal, asking about something that happened 15 years ago and expecting/wanting me to be able to recall it as though it happened yesterday, and to try to recall it to someone you didn’t even know existed a week ago.
It's alright if you don't feel/want to share, but if you could, or would be willing to, I think it would be beyond amazing really to find out and learn, really really learn and know exactly what it was about Elantris that made you want to sit up and go, I want to acquire this, and I will invest the necessary time and effort necessary to track down this unknown, unpublished author and make him an offer he can’t refuse (=P)?
MF: Brandon has always said it was 18 months and maybe his records support that (SH's note: Yes, it does!*). Looking back after all this time, I remember it as being more like 8 or 10 months (SH's note: Not true!*), under a year, anyway, but I’d need to dig up my old records to support that. So I could be wrong. But the essence of it Is that I started reading it immediately when he sent it and I didn't like the opening. It reminded me of a couple of other recent weak submissions that also began with the protagonist waking up. So I was put off and laid it aside.
*SH's note: Sanderson and co. Petered Feder on October 2001, and Sanderson received the voice mail and subsequent phone call from Feder on March 2003, showing a time span of 18 months in between Feder receiving Sanderon's manuscript and him contacting Sanderson to offer to acquire Elantris.
SH: Ah.
MF: After some time went by — 8 months or 18 — I felt guilty about it, remembering what a nice young man he was, and decided to try again so I could at least offer him some helpful suggestions if I were going to reject it.
SH: Wow, OK.
MF: So then I just stuck with it and got further in, quickly noticing how it got better as it went, and being struck by its originality. By the ⅓ point or so, it was obvious what a natural storyteller he was and I began to get excited.
From that point on, I read nonstop until I finished it. There were rough spots and infelicities, but all fixable. More importantly, I had obviously stumbled upon a real talent. I knew well before the end that I wanted to buy it.
SH: That was really decent of you, to give Elantris another chance, even though you really didn't like the introduction, and didn't plan to acquire it. Wow you are really very nice too, just like he is!
MF: You can usually spot crap early, but it’s always a good idea to at least spot check further so you don't cheat yourself out of a find. In this case, my desire to simply help him, as I want I’ve always tried to help aspirants back to my days at AMAZING, was rewarded.
SH: AMAZING? Haven't heard of this publishing house before.
MF: Founded in 1926? The very first SF magazine?
SH: I am just someone who LOVES to read fantasy. I don't know the ins and outs of fantasy publishing, at least not yet. So you basically being a decent guy and just wanting to do the right thing led you to acquire Elantris?
MF: I was assistant editor there while in college. We also published the fantasy mag FANTASTIC.
Gosh, you kids nowadays! No foundation.
SH: Hey! I am trying to learn right now, aren't I?
MF: You could put it that way. Or you could say he won me over.
I don't know why everyone before me didn’t see it.
SH: Man, the mountain of rejection letters he said he has received before you acquired Elantris.
MF: To that extent, I'm willing to claim some skill. Having read SF&F for almost 50 years at that point probably helped. Experience does matter.
SH: So yes, sage advice to aspiring authors: if you don’t want your manuscripts to sit untouched on an editor’s desk for 8 (or 18 months, depending on who is telling the story =P), don't start your manuscript with the so-well-worn it's-rubbing-my-entire-skin-off "tropish" introduction of having your protagonist just waking up from something. Got it!
Do you unintentionally curse the people you vote for? With your vote?
MF: Yup. Because I'm right and they're wrong. Also because I know the difference between pure literary quality and what's popular and can recognize both.
SH: If you say so LOL. But yes I jest. Do go on.
MF: When I read for Jim Baen at Ace, I got him to buy both a literary fantasy by Aldiss and a lightweight, pulpy romp by Laumer. Both were good in their own way, and both judgments were valid.
SH: Wow. You were a reader before all this? Like a professional reader for Ace? That's where Sharon Shinn is/was, in fact. See, I do know SOME stuff at least when it pertains to my favorite authors. So there!
MF: An editor has to know the difference between his personal preferences and what will sell. I happen to enjoy both. That's why I'm good at this.
Yes, I read submissions for a number of major houses as a freelance. Good training for a future editor.
SH: Good to know, good to know. Thanks!
But I have to ask. An editor’s time is very limited. His time can even be said to equal money. Time he spent trying to pick up something he previously dismissed, could have been better used to read another manuscript to find another undiscovered talent. Was it the fact that he was such a nice young affable man then, when he Petered you at the 2001 Montreal con that made you want to give him another go/chance 8 or 18 months later?
MF: Baen's relationship with Laumer began with that book — THE GREAT TIME MACHINE HOAX, a personal favorite of mine on the light side — and grew from there. At Baen Books he acquired the whole Laumer backlist.
SH: Otherwise it may have well still be sitting on your desk right now, still gathering dust or long since pulped and returned to the earth. Maybe something even in that very bad tropish introduction he had in the manuscript?
MF: Hard to say now how much was his niceness and how much my sense of duty to any new writer desperate for feedback. There's a story about that.
SH: Or how nice he and Dan Wells and Peter were collectively as a group. Did you know that Dan Wells actually stalked you for like three days to find out who/what you look like/were going to be and only succeeded just barely on the last day of the Montreal con?
SH: Yes and I do absolutely LOVE to hear it, if you would be willing to share of course!
MF: When I read for AMAZING and FANTASTIC in the 70s, I tried to say something personal with every manuscript I sent back, not just a mere rejection slip. Sometimes I offered detailed comments and encouragement. So...
SH: Wow! I don't think many other people in your position would have taken the time or effort to do that.
MF: Years later, in 1980, I get a Ballantine paperback in the mail by a writer named Lawrence Watt Evans.
SH: I must look into how to become a professional reader now, seems like a great way to start! Or get your foot in, into the publishing industry.
MF: The book, his first publication, was dedicated to me.
SH: Okay, I have to tell you I don't know who Lawrence Watt Evans is and had to Google him but now I know.
MF: Because I had been the first editor to take him seriously and tell him to persist, because he would eventually succeed.
SH: So please don't say "you young unlearned people these days again!" because I am trying! And Googling!
WOW. MAN. YOU ARE SO AWESOME.
MF: Well, he thought so, anyway.
I was flabbergasted.
You should try his stuff. Very entertaining fantasies. OK, gotta read now.
SH: OK. You have a dedicated reading time each day? Did you manage to get Naomi's short story yet, or do u still need to wait to go pick it up?
MF: I reserved it.
Reading occurs randomly and constantly.
SH: I saw the status change on the link I gave you so I know you did. I wasn't a nosy journalism major for nothing you know. If I want to dig into someone's life, you may be astounded to know what I can unearth. I surprised my editor-in-chief when I told her her middle name and she in her life never told anyone about it, at least not in the newsroom.
MF: Kind of stalker-ish, perhaps?
SH: It is a useful skill which I am careful not to abuse. With great powers (or great nosiness anyways) comes great responsibility and all that jazz.
Hey I prefer to say I keep myself well-informed okay!
I'm not stalkerish! Actually yeah I am, but that sounds bad when you say it like that. =p
“Brandon was inspired first by a relative and then by me to build that in,” said Feder, who suffers from bipolar disorder, as did his mother Anne Rubin Feder.
“My mom was a high-functioning bipolar with more mild mania and rare but severe depressions. We accepted that as ‘just the way she is,’ and didn't understand it in terms of disease. Then, in late middle age, it got worse and finally she got diagnosed and medicated.”
“Bipolar disorder typically shows up in one's 20s. However it was only then, in my late 30s that a lightbulb went on and I realized that obviously, I had it too. Previously I’d just been BLAMING MYSELF* for shameful weakness. It had been holding me back in my life and career and I hadn’t even realized it.”
(Interviewer’s note: Bipolar disorder can be caused by genetic factors)
Mental health awareness not being what they are today, Feder had perceived his erratic mood swings as something to be ashamed of. “Of course I know better now, but how could I have known then? It was liberating to realize it was a disease and not a character flaw. I probably first had symptoms toward the end of college but didn’t understand what it was.”
Feder paused to consider: “Looking back, it might even have begun in high school. I already had a pattern of inaction followed by bursts of energy to solve the problem I’d made for myself. But I thought it was just typical teenage procrastination followed by panic. But later it got worse, with the down times meaning not wanting to get out of bed at all and sleeping 12 hours a day and the up periods being dangerously impulsive, shopping and spending irresponsibly, being irritable and getting into arguments or even fights, and so on.”
Feder then ruefully recounted a shopping experience from over 20 years ago: “I’ve also trained myself to notice when I'm shopping impulsively and direct it to actually useful stuff. It’s really stupidly annoying when you come down a bit and realize you bought something useless. Like the time I bought Windows software even though I owned a Mac. How did I rationalize that? Mania doesn't care.”
Feder chose not to return the software for a refund despite having paid around $100 for it. “I still have it. It’s now a valuable reminder to stay in control. Still shrink wrapped. I was CRAZY*. Yes, it was painful when I realized it had made no sense.”
Feder knew it could have been a lot worse. "Fortunately for me, as someone with Bipolar II, I never experienced full blown mania, which is just as scary and dangerous as extreme psychosis, which causes delusions and hallucinations."
"Rather, the 'up' part of my cycles was characterized by hypomania which, if you're careful and sufficiently self-conscious, can be productively harnessed. Unfortunately, 'up' periods are becoming less frequent as I age."
"When I'm hypomanic, I just generally feel more positive and energetic, not at all euphoric, which for me would be a danger sign, but just pain free and content, the way I imagine 'normal' people feel most of the time. But in addition, one of the delights is the sudden realization that the oppressive sense of impossibility is gone. What prodigies I might accomplish if that were always true! I'm grateful to have mostly had hypomania, which can be fun. Well, fun while it lasts, until it’s over and you crash.”
“And now you know why it’s taken me so long to get my roof fixed, and also why I'm not too hard on myself about it, much though I regret the attendant damage,” said Feder, referring to his still-leaking roof. Plans have been made to have it fully fixed by the end of September.
“It’s like having cats; you just accept that sometimes stuff is going to get knocked over.” Feder currently lives with Flushing, New York with his two cats, Destry and Nemo.
When asked, Feder asserted that these memories were not painful for him to recall.
As for his reasons for sharing, he had this to say: “It’s a duty to help fellow sufferers and to work on reducing stigma. When I was guest of honor at Corflu 19, it was a major part of my speech.”
Caption: Feder wearing a guest of honor hat that was a visor in the shape of a red foam crab with dangling legs and claws at Corflu 19 on February 17, 2002, at the Radisson Hotel in Annapolis, Maryland. Photo credit: Moshe Feder.
(Interviewer’s note: Corflu is fanzine fan convention and the word Corflu is short for “mimeograph stencil correction fluid”, which is used in a mimeograph to produce fanzines back before they could be produced digitally. The Guest of Honors at Corflu conventions are chosen randomly.)
Being able to read about such characters proved to be quite the cathartic experience for a Sanderfan who suffers from depression.
“I struggle with depression, and reading the characters in Stormlight Archive just makes me believe again,” said Hannah, a 29-year-old Santa Clara resident who went to Worldcon 76 just to see Sanderson.
While she identified with all three major POV characters, Kaladin was who she identified with the most. “Kaladin’s chapters are the ones I identify with the most when it comes to descriptions and the way he constantly berates and second guesses himself. At the end of Oathbringer when Syl says the bit about it being time for someone to save HIM*, I cried for like an hour the first time I read that.”
“It's hard to explain, but I have always been the person that is there to save all of my friends and those around me. I am terrible at asking for help when it is needed, just like Kaladin, and when I am feeling lost I am lucky to have people around me that will notice and come to my rescue."
In particular, Hannah deeply appreciated just how nuanced Sanderson's depiction of mental illness was: “I love the fact that Brandon changes the way he writes his characters' perceptions and thoughts and motivations based on their current feelings or mental state. When Kaladin is feeling okay for once, he makes this observation:
‘The truth was he was feeling pretty good these days. yes there was a war, and yes the city was seriously stressed but ever since he'd found his parents alive and well he'd been feeling better.
That wasn't so uncommon a feeling for him. He felt good lots of days. Trouble was, on the bad days, that was hard to remember. At those times, for some reason, he felt like he had always been in darkness and always would be.
Why was it so hard to remember? Did he have to keep slipping back down? Why couldn't he stay up here in the sunlight where everyone else lived?’" (Oathbringer, page 690)
At the signing, Hannah asked Sanderson to personalize her copy of Oathbringer with the second Ideal Teft spoke: “I will protect those I hate...even if the one I hate most is myself.”
After asking Sanderson a few questions, a grateful Hannah capped her brief interaction with her favorite author by thanking him “for writing the characters that you write.”
Feder warns that, especially for people in their 20s, sudden unexpected changes in one’s energy level, enthusiasm and sleep should be taken seriously, as they may be symptomatic of mental health issues.
“Just see a doctor and if he or she suggests it, a shrink. People can be depressed without being manic, but they rarely are manic without eventually being depressed. If you haven’t experienced that yet, that's no guarantee you eventually won't. Try to imagine being as low as you currently are high. ‘Miserable’ just doesn’t begin to convey it. If it is bipolar disorder, lithium would immediately correct the problem. It requires a prescription and regular blood tests. It’s cheap, because it’s a natural mineral salt, lithium carbonate, but too much is toxic. So you have to be monitored regularly. But it SAVES LIVES* when used properly."
Feder emphatically warned people against self-medicating.
“Again, I'm an amateur, but the two likeliest explanations of such symptoms are mania or an endocrine problem like hyperthyroidism. Anyway, it’s IMPORTANT* to find out now. The sooner the better, whenever it is. If you are still at school, your school probably has a student health office. They could refer you to someone. But if it IS* bipolar, the lithium would fix that in days or a couple of weeks. But if you get that, the there's no question you MUST* seek help before it gets dangerously worse. Please don't put if off.”
For California residents, Feder offered this resource as an alternate option. “I don't know the regulations, but chances are you should qualify for help. Improving your mental state is a key step toward solving other problems. You are smart and will find a way.”
(Interviewer's note: For residents living in the other 49 states, you can look up the link to the Health Department websites of your respective states here. For residents outside of the U.S.A., you can use this Google search query to find the department of public health services closest to you.)
Such is the way of such kings of fantasy fiction, to pave the way for greater awareness, understanding and acceptance of mental illness.
For readers' comments to the article, please check out Scroll 7.
*Interviewer’s note: All capitalizations are an emphasis used by the interviewees themselves and not an emphasis made by the interviewer.
The interviewer would like to express her special thanks to Valerie Estelle Frankel, the author of many books on pop culture, who kindly agreed to give this article a last-minute proofread before it was posted here. All the English/structural/formatting mistakes still present in the article belong solely to the interviewer and the interviewer alone.
If you have any questions or comments regarding the contents of this scroll, please feel free to send a message to her at https://www.facebook.com/shaz.ron.12.
If you have any questions or comments regarding the contents of this scroll, please feel free to send a message to Sharon Hooper at https://www.facebook.com/shaz.ron.12.
Rumpelstiltskin has always been a problematic and fairy tale absolutely rift with Antisemitism...child stealing/eating stolen babies...In Naomi Novik's retelling of Rumplestiltskin, she turns the entire fairy tale on its head...instead of antagonist Rumpelstiltskin being Jewish...protagonist is a the daughter of a Jewish moneylender.
